The main advantage to being poor:

Can't afford clothes? Can't afford the bus? Selling your body for chicken? Well guess what... You're poor. And nobody likes poor people. To some its embarrassing, to others its shameful. To most its disgusting. We spoke to Peter Goodin, 48, Stockport. "I worked three years as a job advisor at our local Job Centre. Some might go as far as to say I was doing the most important job in the world. Changing lives on a daily basis. We used to see a lot of ginger people. Why? Well you see, nobody wants to employ them. Something which has no soul isn't wanted in the workplace. But for the most part we saw a lot of poor people.


"Scratty. Skanky. Manky. These are just some of the kind words we used to describe them," continues Peter. "Most (if not all) were looking for a handout. An example? Well someone would come and visit me, smelly and hungry, not had a shower in a month, not had a cooked meal since they were arrested, no life, no dignity and in desperate need of some money. Now the easy thing to do would be to stick them on Job Seeker's Allowance. But what they really needed was a shoe up the ass. And I am that shoe. So instead I look straight in there eyes and I say, 'Sarah; do yourself a favour and get out of here, you dirty-smelly-hippie. Your husband left you. Your kids are in foster care. Its time to buck up your ideas. Get down to McDonalds. Go to the toilets. Get a wash. And then tell them I sent you.' And when their life's back on track they can come back and thank me. And sometimes they did."


So there you have it. A first hand account of how poor people are bad people. But there has to be one advantage to being poor, right? Surely it can't all be doom and gloom, sleeping in your car and giving handjobs for Crack. Well get ready to turn that frown upside down because here is the main advantage to being poor: You don't eat!


That's right. You don't eat anything. This is the main advantage to being poor. Who needs food when you've got to buy the finer things in life such as Cider and Smack? Its the diet that's taking the world by storm. The 'Ethiopia Diet' (cleverly named by top scientists) is so damn popular that even rich people are trying it out. David Wasco, 41, from Portland, Maine, USA, used to be a millionaire. "Sure, I was rich. I had the money, the lifestyle, the cars and the women. But all I really wanted was to lose weight. I weighed nearly 300 pounds and I hadn't seen my penis in over 12 years. Then a friend recommended the 'Ethiopia Diet'. I couldn't believe how easy it was. I sold my houses, my cars, my boats and my company. And then I gave all my money to blind kids. I haven't looked back since. I lost 250 pounds in one month."

David Wasco - BEFORE

David Wasco - AFTER

    










"As you can see," David continues, "Now I'm the perfect weight. When I see women checking me out now I know they ain't into me for my clothes or my jewellery. They into me for my turkey-bone ass."


Wow. We here at www.ethiopia-diet.com sure do love a success story. Still not convinced? Well then meet Sharon Edwards, 33, Sheffield, UK. "It started out when I was younger. I'd always get second helpings at the dinner table. Then later on I'd get third and fourth helpings. I couldn't help it. I just loved food. But then of course I got fat. I got real fat. I got so fat that I had to iron my clothes on the driveway. I said enough is enough and then I started all these crazy diets. Nothing worked though. Then, just when I was ready to throw in the towel, along came 'Ethiopia Diet'. It really changed my life. I just started giving away all my stuff. I lost my husband, my kids and I lost my friends. But screw them cause' I lost 19 stone!"

Sharon Edwards - BEFORE

Sharon Edwards - AFTER

"Now I'm socially acceptable," says Sharon. "People don't see me and think I bleed gravy or that I'm actually two people in one body. Now they see me and think I look great. In fact I look more than great. I look Ethiopian! And yesterday I even lost my virginity! Thanks 'Ethiopia Diet'! You changed my life for the better!"

Good luck to you Sharon. Keep knocking em' dead with your great figure. So there you have it folks. Poor people aren't all that bad after all. For more advice on losing weight with the 'Ethiopia Diet' head on over to Amazon to buy the new book that gives you all the tips you'll need. Blowjobs for Crack - How much is too much? Claiming benefits - How NOT to get that job! All this and more in this wonderfully detailed book priced at just $19.99! You owe it to yourself! 


My names James Senior and you've being reading my pointless blog!